7 WritingMany candidates are told to "use lots of linking words", so every sentence starts with However, Moreover or Furthermore, and the Coherence and Cohesion score still does not rise. Examiners look at whether the logical relationship between sentences is clear. Linking words are only one of several ways to show it. This article describes six common mistakes that cost marks in Coherence and Cohesion. Each comes with a before-and-after example, and the article ends with one fully revised paragraph.
- Identify the relationAre the two sentences contrast, cause and effect, addition, example or concession?
- Cut the extrasWhere the relation is already clear, add no linking word
- Use reference wordsthis, such, these plus a noun to connect to the previous sentence
- Check idea developmentDoes each paragraph topic support your stance, and do the paragraphs move forward?
How the official criteria look at cohesion
In the official band descriptors, the lower bands mention missing cohesive devices, inaccurate use, or overuse. The middle bands recognise that cohesion works, but there may still be errors within or between sentences, or it may sound mechanical. So "mechanical" is a named fault, and more linking words is not better. This is only a summary. For the exact wording of each band, read the official IELTS scoring description.
Mistake one: every sentence opens with a linking word
When several sentences in a row open with a linking word, the essay reads like a count of items instead of an argument.
Before:
Firstly, public transport is cheaper than driving. Moreover, it reduces traffic. Furthermore, it cuts pollution. In addition, it is safer. Therefore, governments should invest in buses.
Moreover, furthermore and in addition do the same job of adding a point, so the reader cannot tell whether the four reasons are ranked.
After:
Public transport is usually cheaper than driving. It also reduces traffic, which in turn cuts the pollution that builds up around busy roads. For these reasons, governments have good grounds to invest in bus services.
The revision keeps only also, in turn and for these reasons, and each does one separate job: adding, cause and effect, and summing up. Using which to join two reasons into a chain of cause and effect is more convincing than listing four equal points.
In our practice we use one rule: if a paragraph has three or more sentences in a row that open with a linking word, cut some. The course also sets no target such as "so many linking words per paragraph".
Other criteria for moving from Band 6 to 6.5 are covered in How to move from Band 6 to 6.5 in IELTS Writing.
Mistake two: choosing the wrong logical relation
A wrong linking word is worse than none, because it sends the wrong signal. Decide the relation between the two sentences first, then choose the word.
| Relation | Common expressions |
|---|---|
| Contrast | however, yet, in contrast |
| Cause and effect | as a result, therefore, this means that |
| Addition | moreover, what is more, beyond this |
| Example | for example, for instance, a case in point is |
| Concession | although, admittedly, while it is true that |
Before: Fast food is high in salt and sugar. However, people who eat it daily face a higher risk of heart disease.
These two sentences are cause and effect, but however signals contrast. The reader will take the second sentence as an objection to the first.
After: Fast food is high in salt and sugar. As a result, people who eat it daily face a higher risk of heart disease.
Mistake three: repeating the subject instead of using a reference word
You can join sentences without a linking word: use this + noun, such + noun or a pronoun to point back to the previous idea.
Before: Many cities have introduced congestion charges. Congestion charges have reduced traffic in central areas.
After: Many cities have introduced congestion charges, and this policy has reduced traffic in central areas.
Common reference phrases are this trend, such policies and these measures. The noun must be right: it has to summarise the previous sentence accurately.
Mistake four: a topic sentence that drifts from your stance
The topic sentence of each body paragraph must support the position stated in the introduction. If a topic sentence drifts, the whole paragraph separates from the essay's argument.
Suppose the introduction states the position "largely agree that advertising aimed at children should be banned".
Topic sentence before: Television is a popular source of entertainment for families.
This sentence is not wrong, but it has nothing to do with banning advertising aimed at children, so the reader has to guess what the paragraph is for.
Topic sentence after: Children are especially vulnerable to persuasive advertising because they cannot yet judge its purpose.
A simple check: pull out all the topic sentences and read them from top to bottom. Do they add up to support for your stance?
For writing an introduction that makes the stance clear from the start, see How to write the introduction of an IELTS Writing essay.
Mistake five: body paragraphs that do not move forward
If two body paragraphs say the same thing in different ways, the essay goes nowhere.
Before:
- Body 1: Public transport is cheaper than driving.
- Body 2: Taking the bus costs less than running a car.
Both paragraphs are about personal cost. In effect, it is one reason stated twice.
After:
- Body 1: Public transport is cheaper for individuals.
- Body 2: Public transport benefits the city by reducing congestion and emissions.
Put the two arguments at two different angles. Common splits are individual and society, or short term and long term. That way each paragraph carries new information. The conclusion restates the position and summarises the reasons without adding new ideas.
Mistake six: pronouns with an unclear referent
this, it and they need a clear target, otherwise the reader has to go back and look.
Before: Governments can build more roads or improve bus services. This takes years and a large budget.
Does This mean building new roads, improving buses, or both? The reader cannot tell.
After: Governments can build more roads or improve bus services. Building new roads takes years and a large budget.
When you want to use this, adding a noun after it is clearer: this approach, this investment.
One complete revised paragraph
Before:
Working from home can save employees a lot of time. Moreover, employees do not need to commute. Furthermore, commuting takes one or two hours every day in big cities. In addition, employees can use the time for other things. Therefore, working from home is good for employees.
Problems:
- Sentences 2 to 4 all open with a linking word (mistake one).
- Moreover and furthermore repeat the same idea: the daily commute takes time (mistake one).
- The last sentence uses therefore to give a conclusion, but the conclusion only repeats the topic sentence and adds nothing.
After:
Working from home can save employees a large amount of time. Without a daily commute, which in a large city may take an hour or more, workers can spend those hours on rest, family or study. This extra time makes it easier to keep a healthy routine, which is a clear benefit for employees.
What changed:
- Three extra linking words were removed and three sentences were merged into one with a subordinate clause.
- This extra time points back to the previous sentence (mistake three).
- The last sentence adds new information, keep a healthy routine, instead of repeating the topic sentence.
Self-check and practice
After you write a paragraph, compare it with the checks above. Then try this exercise: find every unnecessary linking word and every place where the wrong relation was chosen.
Cars are convenient. However, they cause pollution. Moreover, therefore, cities should limit car use. In addition, public transport is cheaper. Furthermore, it is cleaner.
This kind of exercise, choosing linking words by logical relation, is in the course at Unit 3, in the lesson "Choose words by logical relation". The first two chapters are free, so you can try the course now. AI feedback points out specific cohesion errors. AI can be wrong, so the score is only for finding what to fix.
To try one of your own Task 2 essays, paste it into the free IELTS Writing checker: one free check, and 3 more free checks after you sign up. AI scores are for reference only.